Postcards From the Knife-Thrower

Alex Stolis

I dreamed I changed my name because the other one ran out, but I don’t know my new name

 

When I was young I had many names; one razor-edged
given by my mother, one blunt-rounded given by friends,

one found by accident, smooth curved kept tight in my fist
known only to god. Now, it’s as if I have no tongue,

I’ve forgotten the mechanics of sound, sharpen knives,
one by one, taste the wet sky; learn to live in silence.

Maybe you get over being dead inside, maybe it’s a curse
a joke gone sour, one long hangover before you sober up.

I’ve lived despite premonitions and omens; I’m in love
with the hollow of your neck, hear a vibration of touch.

We were born, named for heroes, warriors, supernovas
ready to create new worlds. I’m unknown, unknowable,

a cipher dragged from mud, a wasp nest, tattered, bruised
by winter wind; my father’s father’s son.

I put on the shirt you mended, finger each button,
wait for your ghost-voice to name me.

Alex Stolis lives in Minneapolis; he has had poems published in numerous journals. Two full length collections Pop. 1280, and John Berryman Died Here were released by Cyberwit and available on Amazon. His work has previously appeared or is forthcoming in Piker’s Press, Jasper's Folly Poetry Journal, Beatnik Cowboy, One Art Poetry, Black Moon Magazine, and Star 82 Review. His chapbook, Postcards from the Knife-Thrower's Wife, was released by Louisiana Literature Press in 2024, RIP Winston Smith from Alien Buddha Press 2024, and The Hum of Geometry; The Music of Spheres, 2024 by Bottlecap Press.